Gather round, dear liberals and progressives, and hear my sorry tale. A tale of joy turned to sadness, of love turned to hate, of peace turned to terror.
Life is good here. Our progressive government, the People’s Democratic Diversity Party, democratically and fairly voted into power by a safe majority, has created a truly diverse, equitable and inclusive paradise. Bright, cheerful rainbow flags fly from every flagpole; the same colourful rainbows make every crosswalk an adventure. In the courthouse square, a beautiful First Nations totem rises into the sunlight, symbolising the ancient heritage of the Traditional Owners and their anguish and suffering at the hands of the white colonialist invaders.
In the civic parks, happy interracial and polyamorous families picnic on the lush grass, while beautiful nonbinary and trans children frolic in the playgrounds. Nary a cis white man is to be seen, except here and there the good kind, with their man-buns and square glasses and neatly groomed beards, who recognise and acknowledge their undeserved privilege, and respectfully make room for the women and people of colour to enjoy their own cultural spaces. Scantily clad big beautiful women pole-dance beneath the rainbow flags, or twerk happily on the sidewalks, while respectful and admiring onlookers cheer them on, celebrating their beauty and sexual freedom.
Diversity, equity and inclusion reign supreme; there is little crime, for instead of a police force, highly skilled social workers speak to the haters, the bigots and the criminals, adroitly convincing them of the error of their ways with gentle voice and steady hand, so that at the last, in sobbing, contrite penitence they promise never to hate or hurt again. Yes, our state and our capital is a joyful, happy, inclusive place; our governor’s in xer seat, and all’s right with the world.
But what’s this? Who are those folks over there, with their noisy motorbikes and their shaved heads and scruffy beards and death-head tattoos? Surely they’re just passing through? Slowly, you wander closer and listen to their talk. And their talk is so laden with hate and bigotry that you can scarcely understand what they’re saying. But in amongst the foul language and the vicious and hateful racial and misogynist slurs, oh, horror of horrors! they’re actually moving here!
Politely, you approach them and respectfully explain that they will need to respect the customs of the state if they want to live here. But they rudely tell you to fuck off, cuckroach, and when you call the social workers to deal with them, they tell them to fuck off too.
Sadly, you withdraw to commiserate with your non-binary friends in your safe space to share your pain and heal. But there are only a few of them, and surely they can do no harm.
Yet as the months go by, more and more of these sorts of people are moving into town. Brutish, tattooed white men wearing skulls and swastikas, riding noisy and polluting motorbikes; flannel-clad white truckers roll through, belching filthy black diesel smoke into the air; simpering, submissive and slender women, oozing internalised misogyny from every pore, hanging pathetically on their husky arms. A bunch of them actually bought the old gay nightclub downtown and turned it into a Christian Church, cross, cis white male pastor, and all!
No, no, no, you cry, this can’t be allowed to happen. We have to stop them! We have to preserve our diverse and inclusive lifestyle! Frantically, your representatives start passing laws prohibiting these vile people from congregating in the parks; but these supremacists have money, they have lawyers, they challenge every law in the courts and tie up all progress with endless court cases and red tape. It’s unconstitutional to exclude them, the judges say, they have rights too! And worse, they are bringing in millions of white immigrants from deepest Europe and Russia, who have no idea about diversity and inclusion and equity, who love Vladimir Putin and Geert Wilders and Nigel Farage, and they’re taking over the parks and houses!
Even worse, an election is looming. And the preliminary polls show that the formerly minority White American Supremacy Party is gaining ground, doubtless driven by all those hateful, filthy bigots moving into our lovely city from the coasts. Still, there is hope. We just need the PDDP to win the election, and we will have plenty of time to fight the court cases and get these insane judgments overturned.
The campaign posters got up on every lamppost; alongside the familiar Black and Female and Nonbinary faces of our beloved representatives, there are the ugly wrinkled faces of bespectacled ageing white men, rotten to the core with wealth and power. You gather your friends to tear them down, but the next day they are up again.
Election day comes. The votes are cast; the ballots counted; the results tallied. And the worst has happened; the WASP has won, and not by a whisker, but by a decisive landslide. No, no, no, we cry, this cannot be true, how can this happen in our beautiful diverse city? Where did all these hate-filled Nazis come from? Why are they here? Why can’t they just leave us alone? We demand a recount, we take the ballot counters to court, we try everything to convince the judges that our fair and free election was stolen. But there can be no mistake; the votes are recounted, and the results confirm; the WASP is the new government, voted in 60-40.
Our wonderful city has changed. Where once bright rainbow banners fluttered, swastikas now fly. The rainbow crosswalks are gone, painted plain white to make them easier to see at night, the new governor claims. The beautiful First Nations totem in the courthouse square, showcasing our colourful history, is torn down and desecrated; in its place a grim, terrifying black iron Sonnenrad wheel now commands the square. Our libraries, once full of lovely story books teaching our children about acceptance and gender diversity and white privilege, are gutted and replaced with racist, sexist old works by horrible colonialist white authors like Machiavelli and Grahame and Hardy and Tolkien.
Our nights, once peacefully touched with Native chants, are now torn by screams and gunshots, while red fires cast flames of hate into the dark, smoky sky; the smell of ash and diesel fumes hangs foully on the air, and businesses owned by women and trans people and people of colour, are torched and looted and destroyed by screaming hate-driven rioters. Our hope is gone, and hate has prevailed. Where now can we go? What can we do? How can we save our sacred way of life?
But there can be no dispute; this happened fairly, and democratically. The people have voted; the people have spoken, and terrible White supremacy has taken over. You cannot contest it; the Constitution guarantees one person one vote, and they voted for the WASP. Democracy has prevailed, and the white supremacists and Nazis have won in a fair and free election.
Is that democracy, or is it an invasion? Where does one begin, and the other end? How can we protect ourselves from such horror?
And now, dear liberals and progressives, you understand exactly how conservatives feel about you moving into red states and cities and destroying our history and culture, and tearing down our statues, and filling our libraries with pornographic garbage, and why we contest your elections, and why we don’t want you moving into our spaces and taking them over.
When does democracy become an invasion?
